Effective parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the child grow emotionally,physically and socially. It is about the aspects of raising the child aside from the biological relationship. As parents, we exert enormous influence over our child’s development. Parents are the first people they interact with and hence our behavior and our parenting styles help develop their personality. Let us have a look at the four major recognized parenting styles:
AUTHORITATIVE: Authoritative parents set some rules that children are expected to follow.However, they often explain the reasons for the rules and they are more willing to consider the child’s feelings when setting limits. These parents use consequences instead of punishments. They try to reinforce positive behavior by using reward systems and praise. These children turn out to be more happy and successful adults. They are good at making decisions, have a rational approach and are good at expressing their opinions.
AUTHORITARIAN: Authoritarian parents establish rules and regulations for their children and are very rigid about it. They use punishments instead of consequences. Some times, children tend to become hostile and aggressive and they may focus more on being angry at their parents for the punishment rather than learning how to make decisions and solve problems.
NEGLECTFUL: Neglectful parents often do not meet their children’s basic needs and may expect children to raise themselves. They tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing. There are very few rules or expectations. Children lack the desired parental attention. When parents do not pay attention, children tend to develop low self-esteem and confidence. They have a hard time concentrating on one thing. They also exhibit frequent behavioral problems and rank low in happiness.
ARPERMISSIVE PENTING: Permissive parents do not offer much discipline. They are more lenient in their approach and may step in only when there is a serious problem. They take on more of a friend role than a parent role. These children who grow up with permissive parents perform poorly in their academics. They tend to show more behavioral problems. They often have low self-esteem and confidence and may report a lot of sadness.
HOW CAN THERAPY HELP IN EFFECTIVE PARENTING??
Parents are given “Emotional Coaching” training by therapists to help them identify their child’s emotions. In this way they can help their children deal with difficult emotional experiences, providing their children with the skills that are necessary to regulate their emotions as they get older. As a result, these children grow up to be more resilient, socially skilled, and emotionally mature, while still maintaining a rich emotional life.
These parents teach their children that we all feel in a certain way or have certain thoughts and it is not wrong, but at times, particular behaviors can be wrong. Thus, it should always be okay for people to express how they feel.
Instead of viewing their children’s unpleasant emotions as something to be stopped or avoided, these parents perceive these experiences as opportunities to teach their children how to manage their emotions. Negative emotions are experienced by all being human. When parents try to dismiss or disapprove of their children’s feelings, they make the child feel that there’s something wrong with their way of thinking and feeling and this leaves the child ill-equipped to deal with these feelings in the future.
Also, when the child feels that he is not being judged for his mistakes, he is more receptive to criticisms and deals with the difficult situations effectively.
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